Today has been a wonderful day. Iain woke up around 8am and came and got in bed with me. We had all been up pretty late last night and so we had a nice sleep-in today. It was a relaxing morning.
Around 11, we went to Costco with my sister and her baby. Frankly I wasn’t really looking forward to it because I was expecting a repeat of the boys’ behavior at the restaurant but, it wasn’t bad at all. Costco in and of itself is an overwhelming experience and probably should not be done with two wildly energetic children plus an infant. It’s ginormous and presents all kinds of problems when trying to remember what you went there for in the first place. All in all though I just did some deep breathing when I felt myself getting a little worked up about the boys running, jumping, and wrestling each other through the store. We got out of there for under $100 and with no hurt feelings. I was pretty proud of myself.
Ryan’s temper flares have become easier to deal with lately. Today he got upset because we were going to Costco just when he had decided he wanted to play outside. I calmly explained that he could play outside when we got back and would he please go upstairs and put his shoes on. Well he went upstairs but he threw some stuff along the way. No biggie. I just put it back and didn’t say anything. Once upstairs he found his shoes and proceeded to throw them at me from the landing above. Okay, I got pretty mad here and forcefully told him to come down. Why did you hit me? Did you want to hurt me? Would you want me to hurt you like that? We picked up his shoes and went into the den to put them on. I grabbed him close and hugged him tight. “Ryan, I love you, you little stinker. I’m sorry that you can’t play outside right now and I’m sorry that I had to tell you no. It doesn’t make me feel good to tell you no but sometimes that’s going to have to be the answer.” He hugged me back, just as hard, “I love you, too, Momma.”
It felt like a breakthrough. Usually he is so incredibly angry that he has a complete meltdown but not today. It felt like we are both learning how to handle ourselves in these situations. It’s all about respecting his need to express his emotions and him respecting that he has to express them in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone, including himself.
Now that we’re not watching my niece anymore, we have soooo much time on our hands that we don’t know what to do with ourselves. I’m hoping that we can get out and do some fun things outdoors before it gets too hot here. It won’t be long! Tomorrow the high is going to be 95!